Listening to this songs lyrics really hit me hard. I've been think a lot lately about my hopes, dreams and aspirations. Really starting to wonder if I've left it too late to achieve all the things I dreamt of. I'm only 26 but feel like I'm hitting a brick wall of age. I feel stupid even writing such a thing but I feel so torn, follow my dreams or really settle down and think of having a family - which is also a hope for my future. It's a strange feeling of being trapped, not by my husband which most people would assume but trapped by myself and my thoughts and fears. Yep that's right Vix the fearless and fun loving is currently a little scared.
You get so wrapped up in your everyday routine of life. Get up, get dressed, feed the cat, sort lunch, go to work, come home, cook tea, feed and hold geckos, watch tv, shower, bed.
I don't mind routine at all, I think it's a good thing. It becomes so easy to feel like your losing yourself forgetting your personality and individuality which makes you the person you are. The thought of losing touch of my inner self is terrifying.
I even feel like I'm losing grip with the love of music I've had since I can remember.
I think a much needed day on my own in a good coffee shop is much in need. Just me and my thoughts. And maybe a coffee and slice of cake, for it's the simple pleasures and the little details that I notice the most. If theres a deer in field and were driving past at 70 mph I'll still be the first one to spot it, that I guarantee! I even noticed a heron fly over the fields opposite my work. Random or what.
Below is a classic example of my love of simple things, coffee and cereal bars!
After my cafe day, it's time for a new tattoo. Complete contrast i know! I love my tattoos so much, they both mean so much to me. The feeling after having it done is a feeling like no other, like you can take on the world and the world is yours for the taking.
I'm also hoping that the weight I'm currently losing will help me find the confidence to do the things I used to love. Surfing, running, dancing, rock climbing, horse ridding, painting, meeting me people..... the list goes on.
I'm ready to embrace some changes and start living my life day by day rather than wishing the days away!
Thanks for putting up with my rambling.
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